While it is important to identify toxic traits within yourself, it is just as important for you to see if those traits are within those around you. Dealing with people that are toxic is draining and dangerous and honestly it can cause you to pick up on a few unhealthy traits yourself. In addition to that, they bring a dark aura in your life that is definitely not needed. Toxic people honestly are hurt people who look to hurt others. They prey on the people with good hearts and they manipulate it in so many different ways. They hold traits that can literally destroy. If you do not know how to identify certain toxic traits within other people, here are a few:
Manipulation: If you are in a relationship/friendship with someone and they are constantly getting you or other people to do what they want them to do, they are manipulative. People like this often think it is about them, and they will use whatever they feel necessary to get what they want. There is no equity in the relationship, it is extremely one-sided. You just see yourself catering to their every whim when none of that energy is returned.
Belittling others: People who are toxic are always bringing other people down. They talk down on others and make them feel low. If you find yourself in that type of situation with your friends or significant other, it is hard. They’re condescending and they make you feel bad for being you. They find fault in everything you do. Either you look wrong or you’re doing something wrong, and it seems that they are never satisfied or content with you or anything that you do. This one may be hard to identify because it may seem like they’re trying to help you, but pay attention to tone, and how often it is that they’re saying negative comments.
Projecting past hurt on others: This one is easily mistakable to do, but when it becomes constant, it becomes toxic. No one wants to get hurt and everyone is trying to guard and protect their heart, but if they are constantly comparing you to the past, if they are not trying to let go and move forward, and they hurt you like they were hurt for whatever reason, that person is toxic. You do not deserve to pay for the sins of others especially when you genuinely care. If you are in a relationship and your significant other is bringing up their ex and how you are doing them like this person or that person, stop that quick…..or let them know if it continues, you’re gone.
Inconsistency: A BIG one. Often times we make up excuses for those who are inconsistent but ladies, and gentlemen, this has to stop. Inconsistency in a relationship or friendship is indeed a toxic trait. Some people may question how, but it’s extremely unfair! They are keeping that person in limbo and not allowing them to move on. They leave when they want to and they come back when they want. They play on the emotions of the other party making them feel obligated to stay, when in fact they really do not have to.
Envious/Jealous: A dangerous one. I call this the dangerous one because you never know the lengths people go to when they are jealous or envious. It’s a dangerous game and you never know the outcome. People with extreme jealousy or envy like to sabotage the life others. They project their insecurities onto you and make you seem like you’re crazy. I try as much as possible to stay away from people like this because sometimes they got the game messed up, and yeah….they’re just a different type of people. It’s different to be jealous once in while but to live in that realm of jealousy and envy, it’s really wild.
Negative Attitudes: Honestly, with this one, I had to cut a few friends off. People with bad attitudes for no apparent reason really blow mine. They have an attitude and they take it out on you. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them and not upset them. In reality, no one has time for that. No one has time to be around people with dark and disgusting vibes. It’s 2018, we are out here trying to live our best lives, no one wants to entertain this type of person, at all.
“Blamers”: I didn’t really have a name for this trait so I just made one up, lmao. Blamers are people who always make everything seem like it is your fault. They never take responsibility, but they know how to put the blame on others! they do not apologize (which is another toxic trait within itself), and they put all their feelings unto you. They will always defend how they feel with complete disregard to how you do, and it will always be your fault.
Toxic people are broken people. They are looking for people to fix them. They look for sympathy and try to seek it in people who are good people. Their problems are never really solved or fixed so they get joy from bringing drama, pain, and agony to other people. No one deserves to deal with people like this. It is not our job to fix people (not saying you can’t or you shouldn’t), but do not take on that burden. Especially, if you are broken yourself. Dealing with a person like this can drain you emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. Do not allow yourself to become a victim. If you were reading this post, and some people popped into your head, you might have to re-evaluate those relationships. It may be hard because this might be a person that is near or dear to you. Ayaba, what it boils down to is who do you love more, yourself (and your sanity and peace) or them?