The Self Series: Self Discovery


The journey to self-discovery is not a short one. It is on-going because throughout life we are evolving. The person you were last year isn’t who you are right now. You are always growing and that is the beauty of life. Although you are forever changing and evolving, there is something that stays consistent, that is the core of who you are, your character.

Self discovery is the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character. Self discovery is about finding out at the center of your being, who are you really? A lot of us go through life wearing a mask. We put on a front for the approval of others. Especially women. We put on a front which attracts the wrong people, and along the way, we lose ourselves. I see this a lot especially with my students. The young girls do things to try to fit in or get the attention of the other little boys, and I realized that us losing ourselves start from a very young age. We can all think back to a time in middle school or high school where we just wanted to fit and, we’d do anything just to be apart of the in-crowd. This was the start to us losing ourselves.

One of my biggest struggles was/is for to completely be me, 100%. Accepting who I am is a challenge for me. Even as I have entered into the world of blogging, it has hard for me to find my “identity”. This has been something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I remember back when I was in college, people used to tell me how I “should” be. I was too rough, I was too outspoken, I didn’t know how to be a woman, I’m too headstrong and it’ll cause me to be lonely…..I have heard it all. For a while, I listened. I became who they thought I should be, but thats honestly annoying and fake asf. I was struggling to find my identity and to live in the skin God designed for me. This affected my self esteem and what I felt to be my purpose.

With self-discovery, when you find yourself you ultimately find your purpose. Once you know who you are, things fall into place. You know your worth, your potential, your power….it is vital for us all to embark on this journey. If you don’t, you’re honestly just cheating yourself, and you’re taking away a gift from the world. That gift is you! You being yourself authentically and unapologetically. You being you 100% of the time holds so much power. By you not being you, you’re not being who God called you to be.  When you’re at your full self, you can do anything. You can move some mountains. There is a saying that says the most powerful thing a woman can do is realize who she is. Once you know who you are, and you walk in your power….the world has no choice but to adapt. As we’re going into the new year, dedicate it to you and your growth, your development as a person, or whatever it is that you need to do, do it. We need you as your full authentic self! Get to know you, transform. Go through your journey and be who you are meant to be.

There are so many people who want to start, but may not have an idea how. Here are a few ways I began my journey:

1. Write: A couple of years ago my best friend Stephanie bought me a journal, and I can honestly say that was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. That was the whole reason I started all of this to be honest (so thanks Stephie!). I literally wrote everything. I wrote all of my secrets, my wins, my losses….I wrote so much. I used this to reflect over my life and myself. I wrote what I wanted to accomplish, change, and fix. I’d work at it and update my progress. I would go back and read where I once was, and it pushed me to keep working towards my best self.

2. Read: If you’re lost and don’t know where to start, it is important to read books, especially self help books. Self help books guide you and help you attain knowledge and insight. It helps you to get to where you need to be.

3. Do!: In addition to reading and writing, you have to actually do things to help you discover yourself. This includes prayer, meditating, (many things you do to practice self care can also intertwine with self-discovery).Take a dance class, get into art, “date” yourself. Get to know you. Figure out what you like and what makes you happy.

4. Join: Don’t go on this journey alone. Ask friends to do it with you. You’ll be more encouraged. Make it a challenge with your friends. Debrief after activities and invite new perspectives. This will also bring you all much closer

5. Embrace: Embrace your journey. Embrace yourself. Accept the fact that you are a work in progress. You are young. It is okay to not have it all figured out, but understand you are fully committed to finding you. Discover your true self and who you are, embrace you and your journey.

Self discovery is not an easy journey. You will have to confront certain parts of you, parts you do not want to face. You will have to unpack and figure out who you are and determine your purpose. Do this and be you. The world needs you……like today. You are a gift. You are here for a reason….for something or someone. Not being yourself is not doing what God has called you to do. Embrace you. Love you. Take care of you. This upcoming year, make it a year of self. You deserve love, care, happiness, and so much more. Even if that means you have to give it to yourself.

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